The Depressing Future of Football in 3 Photos

Andy Carroll was sent off this weekend after "assaulting" Chico Flores. It was bullshit, and after poring over the footage like it was the Zapruder film this week I've managed to distill down to 3 stills that prove why football is fucked moving forward. Keep in mind that Chico Flores is a center back, theoretically the most physically imposing position on the field.

 This is the incident. Note how Andy Carroll's arm is grazing the very top of Flores' hairline.

 What sensitive hair you must have, Chico, if having it get hit sends pain all the way down to your face! Maybe you should try switching shampoos. I hear one is marketed as "No More Tears." Seems like you could use that.
 

And then, of course, the sending off. Which the FA then upheld upon review. Way to take a stand against diving, guys. I'm sure this won't encourage more players to take a flop, knowing that they're essentially immune to the consequences of their actions. When a team can't cope with a player--like Swansea was getting run over by Carroll on Saturday--this will probably become their go-to tactic. If you can't beat them on the field, just do your best to get them sent off!